I Had COVID and Also Fell Down the Stairs

This is clickbait but also factually accurate

the stairs

For some reason I can’t quite pinpoint, I have been having a really hard time finding any type of rhythm in my daily life lately. I wake up early, get the kids ready for and off to school (in two different shifts because my younger two go to school almost two hours earlier than my sixth grader), and then just kind of waste time until the kids get back four or five hours later. I mean, I do stuff like laundry and dishes and cleaning the bunny cages and the NYT Mini-Crossword, but it mostly feels like nothing. And then once the kids start getting home, it’s managing after-school stuff, homework, sweeping off the trampoline, dinner, bedtimes, etc. Repeat the next day.

I was feeling kind of bad about my lack of productivity and then my family got COVID and I was like, “Whew, now I have an excuse!”

My relief didn’t last long, however, because I remembered that getting COVID in the supposedly “post-pandemic era” is mostly just embarrassing, confusing, and stressful in, like, an entirely different type of way.

Back in the early pandemic days, there were at least a few rules and protocols to follow. Now, there is nothing but vibes.

How long should anyone stay home? Should kids who seem fine and are testing negative go to school? Who freakin’ knows?!?

Also… who freakin’ cares?!?

There is such a disconnect for me because I exist in online social media circles where people care about COVID and remain rightfully terrified about what it can do to people. Just because we’re now told by the powers that be that it’s fine to catch the virus once a year, every year, forever and forever, doesn’t make it true. COVID is dangerous for what it can do in the short run, and perhaps more importantly for many, what it can do in the long run.

I know all this on an intellectual level, but when almost everyone you come across in your daily life has moved on, and frankly, could not care less, well, it’s hard to know what in the world you’re supposed to do. And if I’m being honest, my actions certainly suggest I’ve moved on and don’t care either. It’s so much easier not to care. I like to cling to this idea that because I’m still aware that COVID is bad and dangerous, I’m morally superior to the mindless zombies who are blissfully oblivious, but maybe it’s the opposite?

Maybe I’m morally inferior because I know better and I don’t take the necessary actions because those actions are too inconvenient or too embarrassing?

Anyway, that’s a fun thought experiment. Also, I fell down the stairs last night.

First COVID, then a tumble down the (thankfully) carpeted stairs I was traversing while my daughter was in the bathtub.

Life comes at you fast.

And when you’re wearing slippery socks and carrying a large bottle of shampoo in one hand and conditioner in the other, so does the third step from the top of the stairs. And then, in very fast succession, the fourth step from the top, fifth step, sixth step, seventh step, the bunny gate your feet crash into at the bottom of the stairs, and so on.

Fortunately for you, my beloved newsletter readers, I did not die. Although I will admit while I was careening downward, the lyric from one of Green Day’s new songs called “Saviors” immediately came to mind: “I’ve gotta chuckle what a dumb way to die.”

I have a bruise and a couple of nasty rug burn scrapes on my back, my head was a little woozy for about an hour (not sure if that was from the fall or the COVID), and some shampoo and conditioner splattered on the steps, but otherwise, the stairs and I escaped without much damage.

Come to think of it, falling down the stairs and not getting seriously injured is much like getting COVID in the “post-pandemic era.” You feel a sense of relief at first then a wave of confusion and embarrassment washes over you. You sit in a cushy recliner under a blanket and feel vaguely bad for yourself.

Then, you write a newsletter about it with a sensationalized title to try to get some clicks because nothing really matters.

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Things I’ve enjoyed lately:

• Green Day’s new album called Saviors is great, great, great. Obviously, I’m a super fan, but even I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this album this much. Really solid songs all the way through. A few tracks I’m loving currently are “Suzie Chapstick,” “Saviors,” and “Strange Days Are Here To Stay.”

• I’ve been reading the novel Mercury by Amy Jo Burns and it’s outstanding. So rich and detailed. It’s taking me a while because of, well, the sickness and the general malaise, but the book is great.

• This Frazzled piece by Katie Burgess is elite: My Child’s Valentine Goody Bags Will DESTROY You.

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That’s it for now. Take care. Protect yourself from COVID (if it’s not too embarrassing) and remain vigilant around stairs.