Notes on Lack of Motivation, a Chaotic Thanksgiving, and Holiday Lights

This one is a real hodgepodge

I’ll level with you. I haven’t been feeling it lately.

I’m honestly not even sure what I mean by “it,” but I guess it’s just a general catch-all for existing. Keeping up with housework, the kids’ homework, grocery shopping, and meal prep has been a struggle. It’s just all felt more difficult. On top of that, trying to scrape together a few dollars from writing when my primary income sources have been drying up feels particularly exhausting. And on top of that again (how many times can I use “on top of that”…does the limit exist?) we made a road trip to North Carolina for Thanksgiving week where almost my entire family gathered—about 30 people—to spread a devastating stomach virus.

Normally, I would be keen to write up a recap of how we drove 600 miles home while my kids took turns puking in a toy bucket in the backseat of our car, but even that comedy goldmine isn’t calling to me right now.

Starting the night of our Thanksgiving gathering when people started to disperse, the casualty reports began to roll in.

“I’m down”

“I’m down bad”

“I’m down worst”

It was like watching a row of dominos topple in slow motion.

The night of Black Friday, the night before we were scheduled to drive home, my youngest two kids started yakking. My 7-year-old didn’t have it too bad, but my 9-year-old threw up every 10 minutes or so for most of the night. My three kids were all sleeping in one room upstairs in the old family home with creaky floors and a long and illustrious history of stomach viruses. At one point during the night, my oldest child, who did not get sick (until a few days later), woke up from his position on the floor directly beside his violently vomiting brother and said, “Another one bites the dust,” and then promptly went back to sleep. Mind you, this was about the tenth vomiting session of the night, but somehow, the first he noticed.

Anyway, everyone is mostly better now, I think. That’s all I have to say about that.

Because my motivation is flagging and I don’t want to give up on this newsletter, I’m bringing back an old piece I wrote a few years ago about holiday lights. I hope you enjoy it.

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This Festive Season Is All About Finding a Little Joy and Humiliating Our Neighbors

When the calendar flips to December, my family dives into our favorite seasonal pastimes like trimming the Christmas tree, counting down to Santa's arrival, and riding bikes around the neighborhood loudly critiquing everyone's light displays and design aesthetics. 

We don't typically need external motivation to get holiday hyped, but the announcement of a holiday decoration contest by our neighborhood HOA certainly sent a frisson of excitement through our household.

My children are enamored with decorations anyway, but the prospect of receiving fantastic riches just for filling our yard with more inflatable monstrosities dialed up their excitement level to an eleven. We ended up adding three small blow-ups, some lighted balls that are quite elegant, and one extra string of lights, so it's a pretty safe bet that the gift card is in the bag.

However, because it's best not to leave anything to chance, the children and I have started going on bike rides around the neighborhood to scope out the competition.

When we pass by a house with mediocre decorations, one child will say, "I think we have this one beat!"

And then, since we're not all that close together and it can be difficult to hear while riding bikes, another child will call back, "What?"

In turn, the first child will shout, "I THINK WE HAVE THIS ONE BEAT!"

It's truly magical.

You're probably wondering what makes a contest-winning holiday light display and according to my 9-year-old, it's very simple.

First, in his words, "You have to spend money to make money."

Of course, he meant that we needed to invest in our display to increase our odds of winning the gift card. You might think he just said that to convince us to spend money on more inflatables and you would be right.

Second, again in his own words, "It's not about the number of lights, it's how much joy you put into (your display)."

In sum, whichever way you slice it, our holiday light display which includes four inflatables, the aforementioned elegant balls, a classic Moravian star, and a few lights wrapped around the pole of the basketball goal and the columns on our porch is the clear winner. It is so darn joyful.

But while our critiques of other peoples' downright paltry decorations - I mean, literally no one else in the neighborhood has lights on their basketball goal - can be withering and our thirst for victory intense, ultimately, we must defer to my oldest son's wisdom and heart.

As we completed one of our seasonal surveillance bike rides, my 9-year-old asked me an important question.

"Can you only vote for one house or more than one?"

"I don't know," I answered.

"Because if you can vote for every house, I would definitely do that. Everyone did try their best."

I think that is pretty much the perfect message for the holiday season, particularly when the world seems pretty dark. After all, it really doesn't matter if we win or lose, all that matters is we give our best effort. And that our arch nemeses around the corner DO NOT win because they are vile human beings.

The spirit of the season must endure.

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Things I’ve Enjoyed Lately:

• THE ORLANDO MAGIC! — The only pro sports team I truly care about is finally winning (I’m sure I’ve jinxed it, but for now, play the song!)

• Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig — Just started this one but I love quality books about mental health.