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Publix: My dad loves key lime pie. Treated himself one day to a slice while shopping at Publix. The cashier got a hold of the pie and for whatever reason needed to flip it (AGGRESSIVELY, according to my dad) upside down to scan the price. Well, as we all know key lime pie has a nice whipped cream topping. One might say it's THE BEST PART. When that pie was right-sided, it was a mess. Just a smear of lime cream encased in plastic. My dad was FURIOUS and asked the cashier what the hell he was doing flipping that pie all around like that! It was RUINED! The cashier responded (also AGGRESSIVELY, according to my dad) with, "That's where the price is! What do you want me to do!?" And my dad responded with (NOT AGGRESSIVELY AT ALL) "I want you to not be a goddamn moron!" (or something like that. Maybe I'm paraphrasing.) Eventually the manager had to come to check-out line 7 to resolve the situation. My dad got a new slice of pie. The cashier carefully rang it up. My dad vowed to always use the self-check when he buys a slice of pie. Peace was restored in the universe. But it is one of my favorite stories (next to this one of course!) and now every time we pass a slice of key lime pie in a grocery store, my son makes me take a video of him holding it and then AGGRESSIVELY flipping it upside down to send to my dad. And then of course I have to BUY the damn pie because my son ruined it for content and every time we check out, the cashier says, "Oh this slice is ruined! Would you like another one?" And we burst out laughing and say "No, no, that one is perfect. We're not going to eat it anyway" And they smile awkwardly and this very strange, very random cycle continues forever and forever all because of a careless cashier at Publix.

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author

Omg, amazing! I love that you continue to do it for the content. The type of dedication I admire.

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Always be creating!

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Sep 11Liked by Andrew Knott

Thank you for braving the regular check out to help me confirm that it still needs to be avoided at all costs. Self check out forever!

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author

This is the way. One slip up is all it takes to lead you down the road to destruction.

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Sep 10Liked by Andrew Knott

What a fun story! I went round and round once with a checker who tried to charge me for serrano chilis when I had jalapenos. I gave up after I realized I was arguing about a few cents difference! I don't think she knew how to spell jalapeno. Can I narrate this story for my podcast?

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author

Yes, for sure. Thanks!

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Sep 10Liked by Andrew Knott

Boy, I've been here. Not in this exact scenario, but the painfully executed small-talk at the check out line. They often ask me "What are your plans for the day?" and inside my head, they are a serial killer that will follow me out to the car AFTER I politely decline their assistance, and stalk me through the Starbucks line. "What are your plans for the day?" is so invasive. I don't even tell my extended family those. Sometimes not even my children. Why should I tell the person bagging the groceries? Why? Also, I have to say, your bagger gentleman seemed a little aggressive for my taste. You were nicer than I would have been. I also applaud you for using the Socratic (Jesus?) method -- returning the question with a question. It's fair. It also seems he wanted to be asked that. =)

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author

I set him up beautifully. We're like a dynamic duo.

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Why aren’t you telling me about your plans for the day? Psh

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