White noise machine settings designed to keep socially anxious people up at night

These sounds are sure to fill you with existential dread

In case you haven’t heard, I’m writing on Yahoo! now. I feel like I’m fulfilling my destiny since I am one of the last people on Earth to actively use a Yahoo! e-mail account.

You can find my Yahoo Page here and follow along as I post stories old and new that will hopefully find their way in front of the eyes of some Yahoo! mail user in the Midwest plai…